Dear Adopting Parents,

One of the greatest decisions you as adopting parents need to make is whether you will choose a Domestic or International Adoption.

In fact, the very first question before beginning any adoption is "Do I want to adopt internationally or domestically?" Having sufficient information is essential in making a wise decision between international and domestic adoption based on your goals and family circumstances.   Remember that domestic agencies will try to illustrate the positives of domestic adoptions while international programs will do the same.  International agencies encourage clients to travel overseas, so they will focus on the fears about domestic adoptions, while domestic agencies will often focus on the difficulties of the international adoption process. The truth is there are potential benefits and challenges with both domestic and international adoptions.  It is important for you know all the facts.

International Adoptions:
International programs are available in several countries and generally they facilitate the adoption of a child or multiple children from 14 months and older, except in Kazakhstan where the child can even be younger. Some adopting parents want a specific age or gender or ethnic descent or number of children, and international adoption offers this possibility.  Children are living in orphanages without hope of a future, and they need permanent, loving families to literally rescue them. Medical records are meager for international adoption as there is rarely substantial information on the birth parents. Alcoholism and drug exposure is more likely in some countries and much less likely in other countries, such as in Kazakhstan. Children may have experienced neglect and abuse from their parents, and emotional detachment issues are also common as orphanages may not have the staff to care for the children.  Clinical counselors say that the younger the child is, the fewer emotional problems they may have, but consider that older children have the same needs and are just as much deserving of the benefits of adoption.

International adoption travel can be exhilarating and stressful as you will quickly learn that you are not in control.  The country you are adopting from is autonomous from the US legal system and can arbitrarily decide to do anything, although adoption does benefit their economy and reputation.  Certain countries have suddenly shut down all adoptions in their country which has meant that any adoptions in the process are stopped. Hope for Families has chosen to develop an adoption process in Kazakhstan which is a stable and safe democratic country that is very positive about the United States.  Kazakhstan has a humane adoption process and the orphanages we are linked to are clean and well run.  The children are generally happy, healthy, beautiful, sociable and smart. Hope for Families is honored to be linked with our own international facilitation staff who are absolutely exceptional having successfully facilitated without a single complaint, over 3,000 adoptions.

Several agencies create interest in adoption by having pictures of children apparently available for adoption on their websites. My caution is never to look at these pictures on the internet as it creates commitment to adopt a particular child but the agency can not guarantee that the child will be available.  Do not allow yourself to become emotionally attached as it is not uncommon for the orphanage to promise this child to several agencies and it is only the country and their court that decides who will adopt this child. The orphanage’s goal is to place the children as soon as possible, which makes the chances of you actually adopting the viewed “child of your dreams” less than favorable.  Adoptive families can be so emotionally drawn by pictures or videotapes of waiting children, that they dispose of logic and allow their hearts to make imprudent decisions which may lead to great disappointment.  Be extremely wary of any agency that displays any picture of any child for adoption in Kazakhstan because Kazakhstan federal regulations expressly forbid the posting of any pictures for adoption referrals as the referral can only be made while in country at the orphanage in the presence of the child.

Generally in most international adoption both spouses will have to travel to whichever country the child is located, but there are some exceptions to this rule.  The length of stay for adopting parents in the country of their child will greatly vary depending on the country chosen. In some countries, families are required to travel twice or have one longer visit that is impossible for some occupations. It should be noted that adopting single parents and in the case of a married couple, at least one parent must be a U.S. citizen in order to adopt internationally and obtain a visa to bring the child back into the U.S. as an immediate relative.

The children have thorough medical examinations by the orphanage’s doctor and the US Consulate physician, with a full range of blood tests. Some children adopted overseas have undiagnosed medical problems such as exhibiting symptoms of attachment disorder because some level of sensory and nutritional deprivation while in the orphanage due to the momentary access to their mother. In the worse case scenario, attachment disorder symptoms have included destruction to self or others, learning problems, fire setting and cruelty to siblings, animals and others. Certain older children who have been abused have exhibited poor or underdeveloped conscience, lying and fascination with weapons, and even violence. CNN reported about the worst orphanages in Eastern Europe, "These institutions are both contaminated in the sense of health problems and sterile in the sense of emotional attachment." There are other high risk factors that affect a developing brain, including malnourishment being one of the most important, but along with nutritional deprivation, social deprivation, isolation, and other types of hazards that can affect brain chemistry and development of proper brain cells and brain function.  How can we leave children there without emotional support, the essentials of live and medical assistance?  Adopting these dear children is simply saving a child from a horrible life of deprivation.  Adoption is God’s idea and at great cost, Christ has adopted all of us into His forever family to save us from hell…can we do less for these dear children???"

Lynn and I have visited many hundreds of families for their post placement assessments after they have internationally adopted children from a host of countries including many from Kazakhstan.  We are very happy to report that, with only one exception, everyone has been delighted with their child from Kazakhstan as it is such a wonderful adoption option.  All of this parents insist that they would do it all over again with no regrets and that their child is beloved and an integral part of their family.

Domestic Adoptions:
There are basically two types of domestic adoption: 
1) The first type of adoptions is the State sponsored programs where generally only older children are available.  The State requires you to take a mandatory 30 hour state sponsored MAPP course (Models of Approved Parenting) where they repeat at every meeting that all of their children are “abandoned, neglected or abused”, and “most children have been in alcohol or drug exposed situations”.  These adoptions are generally funded by the State and the cost is low. This program is more often chosen by older parents who would like to adopt older children without incurring significant financial costs.   However, most people seem to report that the State wants them to foster rather than adopt, and that the adoption process was filled with stressful bureaucratic difficulties and delays. Sadly, many people have begun the process, only to never complete an adoption, or have had children placed in their homes with such severe problems that it has scared them away from adoption. Often, while attempting to adopt through a fostering program, parents become understandably bonded to a particular child, and then are absolutely heart broken when the child is suddenly removed from their home due to some legal reason.
2) The second type of adoptions is the much more popular and safer private adoption process where an adoptive family makes arrangements with a child placing agency or adoption attorney to facilitate the adoption with a birthmother of a new born baby.  This private adoption allows a parent to adopt a generally healthy baby with medical and background records before and after the birth. Birth fathers are rarely involved in the adoption and therefore the birth father’s medical background is not as available. Families are often able to visit with the doctor(s) at the hospital and even meet or talk to the birthmother before the birth. While drug and alcohol exposure are generally lower in a domestic adoption, 65 percent of all birth mothers have smoked during their pregnancy. The adoption generally takes between 6-18 months, although good agencies are generally in the 7-10 month range to adoption.  Depending on the adoption organization selected, waiting times may vary more than international adoptions, but 70% of the families we recommend to our domestic program through our sister agency have their baby within 7 months!

The major risk inherent within domestic adoptions is that birth mothers are legally allowed to change their mind until they sign the relinquishment paperwork. Each state varies on the time frames a birth mother can sign her consent to adopt, however most states allow the birth mother to sign 48-72 hours after the baby is born. From that point, most states do not allow the birth mother to legally change her mind and regain custody of the child. Birth mothers do change their minds before signing the legal paperwork and this can create emotional trauma for everyone, but a good agency such as our recommended program has the highest completion ratio in adoptions which higher than 90% due to their careful screening and support process.  Other agencies we have encountered and do not recommend, have a 25% or higher failure rate. In the event of a birth mother terminating the adoption, in our domestic adoption program continues to work with the adopting parents with no extra agencies costs until an adoption is finalized without a time restriction.  Birth mothers select the adoptive family so families must provide photos and general non-identifying information so that the adopting family is protected from a later intrusion of the birth mother.

Domestic adoptions do have their downfalls because the process can be disappointing. Most families will talk with birth mothers that at some point during their pregnancy or immediately after birth, and if that birth mother then decides against the adoption it can be very distressing. You could be working with the birth mother for two days or three months and develop an emotional bond and expectations. Remember, the birth mother retains full legal rights to choose whether she will keep her child up to the time she signs her consent, regardless of her promises to you or the agency. Obviously, the disappointment grows the longer you have worked with a birth mother and the stronger the emotional attachment to the birth mother or new born child.  However, the often repeated myth that a domestic child can be taken out of your arms at any time is absolutely unfounded.  In most states, the legal documents a birth mother signs, which typically occurs 48-72 hours after the baby is born, are irrevocable once signed. In simple terms, in most states, once she signs the paperwork she cannot simply change her mind. However, she can go through a court process and try to prove she was forced into the decision by threats or bribes, but in over 75,000 adoptions in the last 10 years, we know of no cases where the birth mother prevailed as the court favors the permanent placement.  There will be a professional social worker, court notary and attorney present at the time of the birth mother’s signature to ensure her full rights to decide, and yet prevent a latter retraction based on spurious allegations to fully protect the adopting families.

A more common risk concerns birth fathers. In about one out of every 100 adoptions a birth father will attempt to assert his parental rights. The birth father issues are often known early in the adoption process so families can decide if they wish to proceed with such a risk. However, there are rare cases were the birth father's feelings about adoption are unknown until after the baby is placed with the adoptive family. Even when a birth father is against the adoption, few will ever hire an attorney in efforts to stop the adoption and they seldom prevail in the ensuing legal arbitration. In over 75,000 adoptions there are only a few stated cases whereby a birth father has actually won custody of his child after the adoption is finalized.  Florida is one of the best states to finalize an adoption, as, other than husbands, the fathers are legally obliged to both support the birth mother during pregnancy and make application to the punitive father’s registry to have a parental right claim.  Florida has completely rewritten adoptive legislation to institute a legal process that places the responsibility on the birth father at the time of the birth to prevent a destructive disruption later. It is true that most biological fathers do not want the entire responsibility of raising a child alone and supporting the child financially.
In a domestic adoption, generally both spouses will have to travel to whichever state the child is born in, and usually meet the birth mother, sometimes her family, and also the new baby. Often the adopting families will have to stay 3-10 days in the state for the initial court processes and state paperwork that must be filed, and to gain the Interstate Compact approval, so that you can bring your child back home with you. Most states will require multiple post placement assessments before the legal finalization of your adoption.  In the State of Florida, 3 post placements are required, although more may be necessary if the baby’s state of origin requires more.
Adopting a baby is very achievable and we will assist you to make your dream a reality.
Just press "Adopt a Baby in US" to begin your domestic adoption journey.

Comparison of Costs between Domestic and International Adoptions:

When you add the travel costs to the international adoption, and the legal/travel and birth mother support costs to domestic adoption, the total expense of adopting internationally or domestically are in the same range, between $25,000 to $35,000.

Who should help us with our adoption?

In the U.S., those hoping to adopt have two basic options, when adopting from another country:

Agency Adoptions

• through licensed private agencies who are licensed in the specific country               (the only venue to adopt in Kazakhstan).

Independent Adoptions

• using unlicensed, unregulated adoption facilitators (allowed in some foreign countries but not in Kazakhstan, and these so called facilitators are discouraged by our US State Department and under investigation in some States);
• doing the work yourself (permitted for some international adoptions but not in Kazakhstan) with the aid of in-country assistance.

For international adoptions, your state laws, laws and regulations of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS, formerly INS), the U.S. State Department, and the laws of the specific country will apply.

In weighing your options, you should evaluate your ability to tolerate risk. Of the options outlined above:

• agency adoptions provide the greatest assurance of monitoring and oversight since agencies are required to adhere to licensing and procedural standards;
• independent adoptions put the burden of the work on your shoulders and it most likely will not work due to legal complications and restrictions;
• adoptive placements by facilitators offer the least amount of supervision and oversight with no oversight mechanisms in place.

We are here to assist you in making your decisions about adoption:
In addition to factors above, other considerations in selecting the type of adoption you pursue can include:

• costs
• country restrictions and travel requirements
• child health, age, gender, race etc
• your age, marital status, and others.

Above all else…prayer about it and allow the Lord to direct you and give you wisdom!
Make a wise and informed decision and remember….children are always worth any sacrifice or trouble!  As darling wife, Lynn says:  “If God leads you to it, He will get you through it…Trust God to give you wisdom to make this decision!”

Now, there is Hope For Families!!!
Domestic and International Adoptions
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